Balancing Val

Posts Tagged ‘vacation

Yeah, I’m slacking. But how couldn’t I be? Just look at our living room!


*shudder*

I swear, couple that with what the kitchen and bedroom look like and it’s grounds for inducing a Val panic attack šŸ˜®

Thank goodness I have a full day off to make a dent in all this madness.

That’s not all I have been up to though. I’ve been doing this . . .


No, not prancing around like a dumb ass . . . Running šŸ™‚

I even bought one of these!


(source)

Edit: ANOTHER one of these.

I had 2 ancient Garmin’s waaaay back in the day before running was cool šŸ™„ I have been entertaining the idea of a new one for motivation as I am truly at a place where I am ENJOYING running and there was a sale on this one.

I feel like I’m on a spending binge lately caused by the looming wrath of debt coming up in my very near future. I might as well buy it while I have it . . . I think?

Other than major boring errands, Marie and I have another 5 mile ‘res’ trek planned for this afternoon. This will be the last run before the 5k.

I also have a special dinner planned that I am excited about šŸ˜‰

What have you been up to?

Advertisements

Alright my friends. Its time to say farewell for an entire week! Unfortunately, I have to work a 12 hour day today, the day before vacation and I will be swamped with last-minute errands. I feel so blessed to have a blog with amazing readers who I am building wonderful friendships with. I am going to miss blogging and reading blogs and dare I say ill miss Twitter too?

I will not be bringing any form of communication with me except my cell phone. Where we are going, wi-fi is 75 cents PER MINUTE!. I am going to take this time to fully relax and unplug so I can feel refreshed for the exciting adventures ahead of me when I start school in November in NYC!.

I forgot I never told you where we were going! Chris and I decided to take another cruise. It was just the best possible option for the money we had. This would be our 3rd one. We are trying a new cruise line and an older ship which we are nervous about, but we are making stops at Bahamas, Puerto Rico, St. Thomas, and Turks and Caicos.

How cool is that?!?

(source)

While I am away, I have some guest posts from some of my favorite bloggers so stay tuned. Feel free to show them some love, they deserve it! šŸ˜€

Tomorrow, I have a special guest post from my little sister so make sure you let her know if you enjoyed her story about how she is striving to finding balance at such a young age.

I will be back on Saturday 10/23 and will quickly check-in. I will compile my trip into a few posts during the following week will and get back to your regularly scheduled programming šŸ™‚

Time to relax . . .

Adios Amiga!

Dont miss me too much šŸ˜‰

xoxo

Alright, you are probably all mega sick of me talking about anything to have to do with vacation but . . . TOO BAD SUCKA!!

I kid . . .

I do want to talk about something though, something I struggle with besides The Vacation Fat Cycle. I struggle with . . .

Eating

I know nobody is shocked, but you see . . . I have ruined almost every roadtrip, weekend trip and full vacation trips with my eating habits. This is why I was so incredibly proud of myself for turning it all around when I went to Philadelphia recently.

On every vacation we have been both cursed and blessed with the amount and variety of free food we have available to us. Our cruises offered anything anytime, while in Disney we had the luxury of a FREE dining plan in which we had dessert with breakfast . . . everyday. This of course, doesnt include the fact that we also went during the annual food and wine festival which was amaaaazing.

The problem was that we would completley stuff ourselves silly at every meal, every time. We would eat when we werent hungry for the sake of being on vacation and we would drink a fair amount on top of that. The first few days our adrenaline and excitement pushed us along until that started to wear thin. We began feeling, tired, sluggy and as jiggly as the barely covered boobs we saw walking around.

We didnt have energy, we were cranky, we were constipated, we stopped trying new things, and stopped particpating in fun events. We enjoyed ourselves of course, but I always imagine how much BETTER things would be if we werent uncomfortably stuffing ourselves.

And so every year I start coming up with ridiculous plans to avoid that sluggy feeling. 5 heavy lifting workouts, a giant bowl of fruit before breakfast, a huge salad before dinner, no sweets after 8pm, no meat . . . you name it! Of course this sets me up for an immediate backfire which is even stronger compounded with all my other body image/weight issues. Oh, its so not worth it.

This time I have no strict orders for myself. Just one goal . . .

Feel light more often then not.

Yep, thats it. When I feed my body what it wants, when it wants the result is that I feel light and airy and full of energy. When I feel light, I crave movement and fun. And Im absolutley SURE of it that there will be some times next week when I dont feel light maybe because I wanted to try something new but wasnt hungry, or a time when I found something I couldnt get enough of and ate until I was uncomfortable. And thats fine. I wont feel guilt because my goal gives me the “jiggle” room to make mistakes in the name of fun.

If I can make this goal, I have no doubt that this will be one of the best vacations ever! šŸ™‚

In exactly 5 days Chris and I will be boarding a plane for our much needed VACATION


Source

We are very lucky. This will be our 4th vacation since we started dating. Some people seem a bit resentful when we tell them we are going away, but I am done feeling guilty. This is what we CHOOSE to spend our money on . . . Not drinking, or smoking but vacations. We make them a priority and enjoy them a lot. This one however, may be the last one we go on in a long time as I will not know what kind of job shape I will be in next year after completing school next year. .

So, the pressure is on to have a great time . . .

Or is it?

I want to share with you The Cycle. The whirlwind of madness that instills in my brain and in my actions the very second we sign out with the travel agent.

Vacation is booked 3-4 months in advance. Excitement fills me but so does an impending fear. I look at myself and assure that i have enough time to lose weight so i can look great. Because I don’t deserve to go on vacation if I’m overweight. I come up with a strict plan and tell myself if i just struggle with this now, then i can relax on vacation in my new body. The first few weeks are ok. Then i start to fall off the wagon as the diet rush wares off. I start eating foods slowly that i have been restricting . . . I start bingeing on them and tell myself its ok because i still have time. I end up stressing myself out so much that i even gain a few pounds.

2-3 weeks are left. I begin to buy clothes that are slightly tight because I know that i will crack down more then ever and lose this damn weight. The week leading up to vacation is hectic . . . planning, packing, stressing . . . the excitement and anxiety is quelled by bingeing boughts and constant meals out. I weigh in the day before the vacation . . . i weigh 5-7lbs more then i started and my tight clothes are even tighter

This unfortunatley sets the tone for my whole vacation. I am excited but still disapointed in myself for failing. I eat with reckless abandon because not only am i on vacation, but i dont trust myself anyway so who cares. Every night i try on 10 different outfits to find the perfect one that hides that pooch, or one that doesnt make my arms look as fat . . . I cry in the mirror, Chris consoles me and tells me i look great anyway. I go on to have fun even though i feel awful on the inside. I spend the plane ride home dreaming about how i will look on the next vacation, and about how next time i will look and feel confident enough to do karaoke, to volunteer in fun contests, to dance, to lay on the beach . . . to live like i deserve it.

Around the time we booked this vacation, was around the time I discovered Intuitive Eating. To be honest, my first thought was OK great! This is exactly what I need to lose weight before we go.

Then I read further and found that it was obviously not a quick fix and I got scared that I wasn’t going to lose weight. Then, reading even further the book helped me realize . . .

If I’m happy with myself then it doesn’t MATTER what my weight is.

Easier said than done . . . I KNOW!

In fact, i’m still working in becoming happy with myself as is but I can say that I have made HUGE strides in breaking that cycle.

I bought clothes that FIT me!

I did NOT diet at any point since booking!

I have NOT weighed myself in close to 3 months!

I am MUCH less hard on myself!

I am MUCH more happy in general!

I think this time is different. This time I will be celebrating RIGHT NOW instead of pitying myself in hopes of a better future me.

It’s about time šŸ˜‰

Have you ever experienced this before and on a Vacation?


Yesterday I rode the emotional roller coaster of life with some steep ups and downs. I sobbed at the end of the night and really let myself feel what I was feeling. Digging through beliefs emotions and then having to deal with them is no doubt uncomfortable but I’m feeling much better šŸ™‚

Through all of that, something also happened yesterday that I DIDNT realize. Something that would usually have sent me on that same roller coaster upside down and backwards on a full stomach!

Earlier in the morning, Chris and I went shopping so I can get a bathing suit for our upcoming vacation. I tried on a bunch of things, some fit, some didn’t, some looked ridiculous because they weren’t ‘me’. I ended up buying a new bathing suit, board shorts and one of those sleeveless sundress things. What I bought . . . I loved, I was comfortable and they were flattering.


So I went home to pull the tags off of them and discovered . . . .

They Were All XL!


Fully expecting to have a pity party panic attack, I looked up and realized . . .

I DONT GIVE A CRAP!

Really!! I didn’t! This is what I chose because I liked the way they looked and the way they fit. The size was an AFTERTHOUGHT! This hasn’t happened in years!

I don’t consider myself fat, I really don’t. But my body does not fit comfortably in any other size. I have large muscular legs, I have a bubble butt and broad shoulders, bigger hips and a small waist. I can’t pretend that I’m a medium, or that I can possibly wear arm spanx to fit into a small. THIS IS WHAT FITS ME RIGHT NOW.

For once in my life, I didn’t let the size on my clothes define me as a failure, or someone with no will power, or someone who doesn’t deserve to wear a bathing suit. Maybe one day that size will change, but right now it is what it is. It’s liberating to know that I will be happy instead of shameful of the letter on my clothing that no one will ever see or care about.

I am not a success story. I have not lost tons of weight and I don’t have the answers just yet. What I do know is whatever is happening is unfolding RIGHT NOW at page one. šŸ™‚ Those of you right there with me on the table of contents, don’t give up!



  • Ayla: My easiest dinner recipe? PB + banana sandwich. Takes 2 minutes which makes me a very happy girl.
  • kristisn: Yum! That looks like a great dinner.
  • Kate D: After two scarring experiences stuck in big city rush hour traffic (facing the wrong direction) while on vacation with my parents I totally understand

Follow Me! @BalancingVal