Balancing Val

Posts Tagged ‘goals

I would definitely agree that I am the type of person that puts a lot of pressure on herself to succeed. In a way, this is good. I’ve been able to leave a job knowing how to work every department and I have gained trust and respect and a ton of knowledge along the way.

But what happens when IM in control?

This weekend, with the help of my dad I was able to apply for my first ever student loan. Previously when I was in community college, I had help from my parents or put tuition on my credit card (so stupid). I went to college just because its what im ‘supposed’ to do. I went there not knowing what I wanted or was passionate about. So I strung along and THANKFULLY found a direction, but in nothing i truly loved.But this is the big time, this is what I want.

I have to say I was completely SHOCKED about how much it will cost me in the end to borrow the amount that I needed. I mean with interest, it’s really not to far from paying DOUBLE what I needed to borrow even with the lowest possible interest rate!

I looked at my monthly payments which work out to ~$380 per month for 8 years.

EIGHT YEARS!

I know some of you have been there done that, but I just need to express the pressure I now feel.

This means that I have to come up with that amount of money PLUS my regular expenses, PLUS possible commuting costs if I get a job in the city. I have to make sure I do something that is able to handle all of this financially.

And so. . . . I’ve decided to become a stripper instead of go to school.

. . . .kidding šŸ˜‰

It took a lot for me to reassure myself that everything would be ok going into this a bit free spirited. I told myself that no matter what if nothing but knowledge comes from this, I will be ok where I’m at and have time to figure things out.

But, the chokehold of finance really put a damper on that.

I’m not saying that I was just going to graduate then hang out for a while and see what happened. But I really didn’t want there to be this scary elephant in the room.

I know ill be ok, but again it’s the fear of the unknown that kills me. The fear that I will be struggling. The fear that I wasn’t good enough to get a job good enough to pay my bills.

On the other hand, it might be a good thing as it is somewhat of a positive stress or motivation. I am willing to work hard and I am willing to put myself out there to follow my passion.

But jeez . . . Money Sucks! šŸ™„

Thank you for listening to today’s rant.

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So I did it! It’s weird that today’s run/jog was better than the other two. I thought today would be the day where I was so sluggish and frustrated that would just get pissed off and walk the whole way, but l ended up running more this workout then any of them! The only problem i had was my reaction when i caught a glimpse of myself in car windows. I felt gross šŸ˜¦

I kind of feel a little guilty though. I withdrew myself from a social situation with some girlfriends partly because I wanted to make sure I ran, and partly because I was too tired and wanted to stay with Chris. I know they are mad, but they will get over it in time. Plus, it involved eating raw cake and cookie batter. šŸ˜³

As for the upcoming week, i don’t see why I can’t keep the same goal. Especially since I am off a bunch of days due to us switching hours and the holiday. I like this routine. It’s working for me right now. Maybe I will even do it 4x šŸ˜€

Dad went with us this morning to snap some pics and video. He is going to email me the video of me running on the sand and the awesome video of the sun rising on the beach. For now though here is a picture of a house close to the boardwalk. These peeps must have a good landscaper:)



  • Ayla: My easiest dinner recipe? PB + banana sandwich. Takes 2 minutes which makes me a very happy girl.
  • kristisn: Yum! That looks like a great dinner.
  • Kate D: After two scarring experiences stuck in big city rush hour traffic (facing the wrong direction) while on vacation with my parents I totally understand

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