Balancing Val

Vacation Fat Cycle

Posted on: October 11, 2010

In exactly 5 days Chris and I will be boarding a plane for our much needed VACATION


We are very lucky. This will be our 4th vacation since we started dating. Some people seem a bit resentful when we tell them we are going away, but I am done feeling guilty. This is what we CHOOSE to spend our money on . . . Not drinking, or smoking but vacations. We make them a priority and enjoy them a lot. This one however, may be the last one we go on in a long time as I will not know what kind of job shape I will be in next year after completing school next year. .

So, the pressure is on to have a great time . . .

Or is it?

I want to share with you The Cycle. The whirlwind of madness that instills in my brain and in my actions the very second we sign out with the travel agent.

Vacation is booked 3-4 months in advance. Excitement fills me but so does an impending fear. I look at myself and assure that i have enough time to lose weight so i can look great. Because I don’t deserve to go on vacation if I’m overweight. I come up with a strict plan and tell myself if i just struggle with this now, then i can relax on vacation in my new body. The first few weeks are ok. Then i start to fall off the wagon as the diet rush wares off. I start eating foods slowly that i have been restricting . . . I start bingeing on them and tell myself its ok because i still have time. I end up stressing myself out so much that i even gain a few pounds.

2-3 weeks are left. I begin to buy clothes that are slightly tight because I know that i will crack down more then ever and lose this damn weight. The week leading up to vacation is hectic . . . planning, packing, stressing . . . the excitement and anxiety is quelled by bingeing boughts and constant meals out. I weigh in the day before the vacation . . . i weigh 5-7lbs more then i started and my tight clothes are even tighter

This unfortunatley sets the tone for my whole vacation. I am excited but still disapointed in myself for failing. I eat with reckless abandon because not only am i on vacation, but i dont trust myself anyway so who cares. Every night i try on 10 different outfits to find the perfect one that hides that pooch, or one that doesnt make my arms look as fat . . . I cry in the mirror, Chris consoles me and tells me i look great anyway. I go on to have fun even though i feel awful on the inside. I spend the plane ride home dreaming about how i will look on the next vacation, and about how next time i will look and feel confident enough to do karaoke, to volunteer in fun contests, to dance, to lay on the beach . . . to live like i deserve it.

Around the time we booked this vacation, was around the time I discovered Intuitive Eating. To be honest, my first thought was OK great! This is exactly what I need to lose weight before we go.

Then I read further and found that it was obviously not a quick fix and I got scared that I wasn’t going to lose weight. Then, reading even further the book helped me realize . . .

If I’m happy with myself then it doesn’t MATTER what my weight is.

Easier said than done . . . I KNOW!

In fact, i’m still working in becoming happy with myself as is but I can say that I have made HUGE strides in breaking that cycle.

I bought clothes that FIT me!

I did NOT diet at any point since booking!

I have NOT weighed myself in close to 3 months!

I am MUCH less hard on myself!

I am MUCH more happy in general!

I think this time is different. This time I will be celebrating RIGHT NOW instead of pitying myself in hopes of a better future me.

It’s about time πŸ˜‰

Have you ever experienced this before and on a Vacation?


11 Responses to "Vacation Fat Cycle"

Ah…the cycle! looks like you’re well prepared this time. and you should NOT feel guilty about taking vacations at all! It’s YOUR life and you’re living it! Hope you have a great time !

Thank you! Its crazy that someone would resent us for going on vacations . . . Especially people spending oh $400 a month on cigarettes!

You are going to enjoy this vacation so much more. Don’t hop on a scale before you leave and remember the confidence you feel. Make balanced decisions while on the trip and feel good knowing you care for yourself. Have a blast!!! You deserve it. πŸ™‚

Thanks Tina! πŸ˜€

Been there, and the habit dies hard. I’m planning a trip to Florida in a few months and I decided to try to lose 15 pounds, but later I realized that it wouldn’t work and I might ruin my vacation. Instead, I’m working hard at not feeling guilty about food.

In the end . . That is a MUCH better goal. Changing beliefs in your mind is so much more valuable then changing the number on the scale πŸ™‚

I hated when I used to give myself a time of when I had to look good–you have a month until a trip, or whatever and I would get anxious and binge and it would just backfire.

No more. good job!

I haven’t made vacations a priority in my life. I’ve had plenty of long weekends and a few staycations, but last year I didn’t travel anywhere.

I have let my weight and what I look like prevent me from visiting family in my home town close by. I always built it up in my head that I had to go home thin with fashionable clothing to “wow” everyone–but it never happened. I’m going back home next month and I’m trying not to let my appearance defeat how I feel.

I have done the same thing over and over just *waiting* until I was the right person to show myself. Truth is, when you find out your issues have nothing to do with food or weight or appearance then you have to re-learn yourself to the very core. You are who you are no matter what and its a tough reality but you also gotta think that other people are NOT as judgemental as you think, especially family I hope.

We all deserve to have fun and live πŸ™‚

Sorry reply so scatterbrained.

Hmm….we might have to have a talk about my family! lol

I think the big thing is realizing that no one else had been putting this huge chunk of pressure on me–I was the one holding myself back from travel. In fact now vacation opportunities are falling out of the sky and I have to turn them all down because of work!

I have big plans for vacations in 2011, once time frees up.

Oh wow!excited for you. It is so great to be able to rejuvenate and enjoy a vacation.

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